The Burden of Aspiring Writers

Another episode in which I deviate far from the contents of what is entailed in a "book blog." But I feel as though this is some noteworthy things to share.

That's a misleading title though because first off, I am not writer. And I don't think I will ever have the courage or persistence to consider myself as one. For the past four years or so, my mind has always been coming up with these new stories and ideas that never make their way onto paper. Little snippets of scenes are the closest things I have to a finished product, and it's so infuriating. Although there are the joys of being stuck in your own little world, the means of getting it down on paper is extremely difficult. It's maddening and horrible and intensifies my mental instability to an all-time high.

Here's a journal entry I wrote about my frustrations and it sounds absolutely insane for people who don't know what I'm talking about but I swear it pertains to my creative process 98% of the time.

3/6/16

An Open Letter to My Characters

The thing is that I've given up so much of my time for you. I could be 60 pages closer to finishing Crime and Punishment, I could have been working of my makeup work for Stats, or I could have been revising my extended essay. But I dropped it all and I will keep on dropping everything until you have finished your business with me. 

I understand that I am blaming you for the procrastination that I have imposed on myself, but every year this happens. You are taking a toll on my mentality and physically making me sick from exhaustion. My mind can't ever think straight without reverting back to you. Like what in the actual fuck??? Who does that???

All I ask is one thing: for you to tell me your story. But every time I try to give you time to expose yourself, you somehow always change your mind. I'm left with wasted hours of staring at a blinking cursor or a blank page. You have led me to believe that mental constipation is just as bad as actual constipation. (I should know. I am a veteran in both areas.)

I know it's nice to be able to dream about things like this, but no one really tells you how exhausting it all is. Writing a novel - writing anything that is valuable enough to be read in public - is such a laborious job. 

So please, just stop wasting my time and tell me what you want to tell me. 

-fq

A couple days after I wrote this, I found a video that perfectly describes everything I feel in regards to the pressure of being creative and being successful in channeling that creativity. I highly recommend watching Elizabeth Gilbert's (author of Eat, Pray, Love) TED Talk linked below. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86x-u-tz0MA